How are you today?
To begin with, I would like to acknowledge how you may be feeling at this time.
If this pandemic has impacted your health, relationships or finances, or that of those close to you, in such a way that your primary focus is on healing and recovery, my heart and my thoughts are with you.
For those of us who are managing to continue our day-to-day, trying to balance our emotions with the wish to make the best of this time at home, whether it is sharing more of ourselves with family, learning something new, focusing on delayed projects or looking for a new job, the uncertainty that lies ahead makes it all extra challenging to pursue.
How do we plan when we don’t know what the world will look like? We hear the phrase “returning to normal” knowing deep down that it will no longer be the same. Meanwhile, we are trying to adjust to living our lives with our sense of security shaken to the core and little clue of what we will be able to count on when this is all over. Or when.
Here is where I would like to offer that we begin to let ourselves be guided by our deeply held values. This may seem self-evident or you may feel it is something you already do, but I would like to invite you to consider when was the last time you reflected on your core values? Knowing what our most important values are, helps us navigate life in general, but it is especially helpful when our feelings block our decision-making or our external world makes little sense. The key is to:
1) Get crystal clear on our core values, as competing values are often what holds us back from making a decision. For example, freedom vs community. Both values may resonate with you and one is not intrinsically better than the other, but when finding yourself in a position of having to choose between the two, which one will make YOU happiest?
2) Be mindful of taking actions that are aligned with our values, however large or small. When we behave in a way that is not aligned with our core values is when we find ourselves feeling stuck, unhappy and frustrated.
But when there are so many values that matter to us (fairness, security, adventure, wisdom, kindness, success...), how do we hone in on our top ones?
You can begin by reflecting on the reasons you live the way you do, such as the books you choose to read, the neighbourhood you have moved to, the motivation behind the career you have chosen, the people you surround yourself with. If these make you happy, you can ask yourself why. The reasons will begin to shed some light on what is most important to you. If they don’t, thinking about what would make it better, will also give you direction.
However, as with everything we hold closest to our hearts, the process of narrowing down what is important to you is not really an intellectual one, but one of connecting to ourselves.
Take a moment to imagine when you have been the happiest and felt most like yourself... What values were you upholding at those times? Let’s say an image of you rowing in the sunshine comes to mind. What is it about this memory that you cherish most? Is it the teamwork, the competition, the exhilaration, the connection to nature?
The success of this exercise will also depend on how honest you are with yourself. The key is not to censor what comes up for you because you feel it may not be what you or others expect. Get curious instead.
Once you are very clear on what is most important to you, represented by your core values, you can ask yourself how you are applying these in your daily life, in every decision you make. For example, if learning is one of your top values, choosing to learn something new in your free time instead of choosing another activity, will bring you a higher sense of fulfilment. In this way, it becomes easier to know which course of action you will feel most satisfied with when designing your life, even if just in the short-term.
As we have been given the opportunity to become more reflective these days, are you beginning to get a sense of which parts of your life may or may no longer feel satisfying? Is your work life one you wish to continue as it is?
I guide my clients in the process of clarifying what their core values are as part of their exploration of careers that will make them happiest. It takes a couple of sessions, but we always get to the top 3 or 4. As a result, the work life they design will fall in line with the values they hold most dear.
If you are in a situation, where you are certain about the career you want to create next, but just need some support in finding the way to make it happen, I am here for you.
If however, you find yourself feeling unsure about the career you have or the career you want to have, or even if you cannot think of your career at all and just need help finding your way in these intense times, I can help you pinpoint your values to start with. These can become your GPS, your starting point. They will help you feel more secure. You can then decide how you wish to apply them. Book a complimentary call here.
With love,
Dina